Disney World, retired northern folks (autocorrect tried to change ‘retired’ to ‘retarded’), unbearable heat, only hills are landfills or phosphate mines, water that is probably recycled alligator and Burmese python piss, jorts, Grizzly tobacco prices that cause bankruptcy, and old women without bras with Tootsie-roll sized nipples.
Born and raised in Greenville SC, I was offered a job in Florida and it sounded like an awesome opportunity. In retrospect, it turned out to be an 11 month long game of Survivor. On a positive note, I met a cool friend who is possibly the funniest girl in America and also lived within an hour from my favorite cousin.
However, if you added balls to the state of Florida, it would be the dick of the United States and the Keys would be piss dribble.
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